I'm not a Satanist!

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'I found Jesus on Highway 52. He was upside down in a ditch and the birds had gotten at Him, but you could still tell it was Him.'

'I always thought of Jesus as my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat Him.'

'Only sheep need a shepherd!'

Please know that when I'm quoting from the Bible, the title of the section is first, the the big number at the beginning of the chapter or whatever, and then the little numbers around individual phrases. I'm not sure if this quoting system is correct, if it's not, please tell me!

Now, I know that you Christian bigwigs out there will run screaming at me brandishing a cross or gun, or possibly a combination of both, just because I don't believe in your God, or possibly because I have the nerve (how saucy!) to start my own religion, an act I did only to piss off certain people, or because I play Dungeons and Dragons, Magic: The Gathering, and play such computer games as Heretic, Hexen, and Hexen II. I will start off by stating that I am in no way a 'Satanist' because I play these games, or watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show. How anyone can link a game or movie to Satanism is beyond me, unless the game or movie openly states 'Christianity is evil, you love Satan, you love Satan! Satan is your infernal Master!' or whatever. Indeed, the only basis you have for poor old D&D or Magic is that they occasionally mention 'Gods', 'Devils' or 'Demons'. In fact, most of the games you critisize, the main point of the game is to eliminate something 'evil', unless you choose to be 'evil'. You should recognize that this is what we normal people call make-believe, and is only intended for entertainment purposes. Pretending to be a person in a world with mythical creatures like dragons and trolls is not evil. Nor will you start to think that you are that person. The case you all refer to, when some mentally unstable person's character was killed, and he killed himself, does not matter, because the person was mentally unstable. A study was conducted and they found that people who play RPGs are in fact more mentally stable, more intelligent, and less likely to kill themselves. Nor does the Rocky Horror Picture Show promote Satanism or homosexuality. Unless you're the sort of person who does things people on TV do, then there is no way to think this movie, which mentions 'Satanic' once, in a SONG, is evil. It's called poetic device. That the song the word 'Satanic' is in is about someone saying he's a 'Sweet Transvestite' is not an issue. In the Rocky Horror Picture Show, there is a race of aliens from the galaxy of Transylvania, the planet Transsexual, and they are called Transvestites. The singer is one of these people. The singer is offering a veiled statement to his being nonhuman:

'I'm just a sweet Transvestite,

~ Sweet Transvestite, the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

His homosexuality is NOT an issue. This is the 'offending' line.

Brad: I'm glad we caught you at home. Can we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry.

Brad: We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car. We don't want to be any worry.

Frank: Well, you got caught with a flat. Well, how 'bout that. Well babies, don't you panic. By the light of the night, it'll all be all right. I'll get you a Satanic mechanic.

~ Sweet Transvestite, the Rocky Horror Picture Show

So you can see that the word was merely used to fit the rhyme. Remember, the person in question is an alien and thus would have no knowledge of Christianity's corrupting influence. However, the existence of aliens raises some thorny theological holes in the Christian faith that would be inpossible to patch up.

I am not a Satanist because I only wear (and own) black T-shirts. Indeed, these T-shirts are black only because they have a Star Wars motif, and a Star Destroyer or TIE fighter would look kind of silly on a white background, right? You would be wise to note that many people wear black because they actually like it, not because they are Satanists.

What's it too ya that I wear a necklace with an ankh on it? At least what I wear isn't a representation of someone being brutally executed. Ditto for the ring, which has tiny little ankhs on a black background. How in the seven hells is that a Satanic symbol? The ankh is a symbol of life and soul in general.

Also note that Satanism is often merely a term used by people like you to define anything you think is 'evil', and there's a lot that you think is evil, most of them being things that are fun and entertaining, in moderation.

And then, me having shot you down on these counts, you'll probably bring up the argument that the depraved sickos who performed the shootings in high schools liked he same things I do. Yes, I am in high school. Yes, there are some people I would like to see gruesomely tortured. But we all have our little nemeses. Indeed, most Christians hate other sects of Christians even more then they hate me. Read 'Needful Things' by Stephen King. The main conflict in that story is such a form of hate.

I will point out to you now that there are many people out there who like Christianity, and are, or were, horribly sadistic. Consider the horrifying killings of people of the Judaic faith by the Nazis in World War II. They were Christians, indeed, the buckles on the belts of SS officers were inscribed with something along the lines of 'God Leads Us' or something to the like.

Note here that I am in no way promoting, condoning, or comparing Christianity to Nazism. I was merely pointing this out.

Need I point out that a large amount of hate crimes are done by Christians? Racism, the Holocaust, gay beatings, all of these are or were performed by God-loving Christians. Just because a person is of a different religion, race, sexual orientation does not mean they are evil as you define it. Hmm. Perhaps Christianity is like Nazism in some ways.

I will now point out that the work of incredible fiction called the Bible condones in the Old Testament a vast amount of horrific punishments or actions. Ripping open of pregnant women, vast amounts of animal sacrifice, incest, the Flood, huge and improbable wars, all this was done in the name of your 'loving' God. How could anyone profess to love a being who demands such horrible deeds be done in His name? Not to mention that He is amazingly selfish, egotistical, and unreasonable. To me, your God is a nasty old villain.

Oh, this reminds me of a little thing you like to forget called the Spanish Inquisition! They tortured a lot of people because they thought the earth was round and things! My goodness, it actually is, as they found out. If they were wrong about that, can't they be wrong about other things, ie, the existence of God? Where in the Bible does it say Earth is flat? What was the basis for these tortures? Dangerous ideas. Undermining of the authority of the Church.

What? You say that the Bible is the word of God? Prove it. Prove to me that God exists, and I'll go and pray. I don't want any of your ridiculous 'Look at the bunnies and the trees, how could this have just happened?' Nonsense, because I can just say 'How did God just happen?' I have a copy of the Bible right here in front of me, and this is the very first sentance:

'In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.'

And you dare to say that all this around us didn't come from nothing? What did God make the Earth and the heavens from? Firmament? If you don't know, that's a fancy word for nothing. Nada. Zip. So to get back to my point, where did God come from? Can you prove to me that God exists? Can you pray to God to throw a bolt of lightning on my house with a note tied to it, saying

God, the Lord, Jehovah, Yahweh' ?

And then we have the interesting little fact you try to hide, that Christianity, or just plain believing in your God, Old and New Testament, there is more bloodshed than in any other book I've read. I'm only at Deuteronomy 16, and I am disgusted and appalled that your book of 'Truth' is so impossibly bloody. Your 'loving' God decides to kill everyone and everything, he slays thousands on 'nonbelievers', he turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt for looking at a burning city. Very intolerant, if you ask me.

And then you walk about, saying 'Repent and be saved!'. First of, I'd rather not repent, I'm having far too much fun being a 'Satanist', as you like to call me, worshipping my 'molten idols' and generally having this thing we 'Satanists' call 'fun'.

Speaking of fun and sinning, let's talk about Hell.

Where is Hell? For that matter, where is Heaven?

If I spent my life avoiding 'sin', and was finally taken in by the voice in my head screaming 'Let's have FUN!' which you call the 'Devil', then I'd burn in Hell for all eternity, according to all you people who have already arbitrarily decided for me that I will burn in the Abyss.

Let me get this straight. I finally subcumbed to Satan, and for doing Satan's work he's going to punish me. Very reasonable. Wouldn't Satan be more inclined to give me a cigar or something, a medal, a peephole into Heaven where I can see all the good little Christians sitting on their clouds, saying 'Holy shit! This is really boring!'? Why am I to be punished for doing Satan's work?

Have you ever read this book by A. Robert Heinlein, called 'Job: a Comedy of Justice'? It would really open your eyes about what Hell is probably like, if there was one. . The Church was in complete and total control over everything. And Heaven was even worse! The angels ran EVERYTHING. No humans got wings, the only people to have halos were saints, and all the angels ever did was bitch about how hard it was to put in plumbing for humanity just before the Rapture.

Hell, on the other hand, was pretty much like Earth. No-one was burned in a firely Lake of sulphur and brimstone. Mary Magdalene ran a prostitution class (no-one knew what she did in Heaven)

Face it, Hell is just an invention of the evil Christian priests of the Middle Ages trying to scare the peasants into making bigger donations so they can get fatter, richer, and more powerful

And face it, that's the way you wish it was today. You wish we were all living in our little shacks in Europe, sending our military off to the Crusades, and thinking that Satan lurked around every corner, ready to tempt us with fun, don't you? Because then the Pope wouldn't be some boring old guy, he'd be the holiest and most important man on earth! Women would be slaves again! I'll bet you female Bible thumpers would like that, eh? And we'd all die at the age of forty, and have no teeth, and the barbarian invaders from the northlands would be the worst thing we would face, instead of the occasional 'Satanic' non Christian, and we'd all live or die at the whim of the village priest.

And you people have the nerve, the absolute nerve, to say I'm evil, me, who promotes rights for all, homosexuals, democracy, women, minorities and majorities, religions. You, however, think it's OK to blow up abortion clinics, kill the valuable doctors who perform abortions ( the doctors who even now could be saving YOUR worthless hypocritical ass from some disease), beat up homosexuals, repress other religions, have Southern 'recruiting' forces to 'save' the poor 'Godless' Muslims and Judaists! Well, well. Hmmm....

Don't the Judaists worship God too? Isn't the whole damn Old Testament about them? Don't the Muslims worship 'Allah', who is much like your miserable God? I seem to recall the Muslim tale of Mohammed, who was spoken to by an angel named Gabriel ! And you think that these people have been 'taken in by the Devil'? You people make me sick.

'A homosexual chooses to be homosexual', you say. Right. A homosexual is also a pedophile? Unh-hunh. Have you got any evidence to back this up? Oh, everyone knows it? Really? So, if one day I come out of the closet, if I was gay, which I'm not, I immediately become a child molester? This is complete crap! So some guy, or girl, just one day decides, " I'm going to be gay! Boy, that'll be fun, I'll be hated and reviled, thought to be a carrier of AIDS, to the Canadian Alliance Party I'll be nonhuman, and abomination in the eyes of the Lord, and someone to be the target of Christian hate crimes! Oh, boy! Now where's that pink trianlge?"

So homosexuals are evil? Then what about the well-known tendencies of Catholic priests? Are they evil? Even though they're doing God's work?

I'll tell you, they gay people I know are far more kind, caring, and considerate than you miserable dogs. They know what it's like to be hated. I know what it's like to be hated, many of you Christians at school think I'm gay, or a Satanist, or am going to do a school shooting because I'm not a Christian. My goodness. Let's see, I think women are attractive, I deny the existence of Satan and God, and, although I do wish that some people were dead, certainly think that a shooting is a horrible and awful thing to happen to anyone.

Believe me, the 'truths' you follow are nothing but falsehoods. If God loves me, than why am I mistreated in such a horrible fashion, even before I decided to abandon Christianity? If God loves me, than why did he, in his wisdom, decide to kill off my beloved mother when I was the tender age of seven years old?

'Oh, this kid's an honest Christian...I know, I'll give his mother cancer to show him that I love him!'

Thank you God, for showing me you love me (that was sarcasm)! Excuse me if I feel that this 'loving' God of yours is obviously a horrible evil bastard for doing this!

Now, I want to ask you some ethical questions here that will test your faith. You are not obligated to answer these questions, although I appreciate feedback.

1. If your son / father / husband / brother quietly confided to you one day that he was gay, what would you do? Would you put him to death like it says in the Bible (Leviticus 20, 13)? Would you ignore him for the rest of your life?

2. If your wife / daughter / mother / sister was raped and became pregnant with that man's child, would you force here to have an abortion? Would you forbid her from having one, against her will?

3. You develop a disease of the eye which makes you blind. Thusly, you are not allowed anywhere near a place of worship, as it says in the Bible?

I apologize, but you people have irritated me long enough, and I feel that you should have this pointed out to you.

Oh, and speaking of the Bible, what about all the famous contradictions? Are you familiar with the story of Onan ( Genesis 38, 7 - 10)?

Let's see, God apparently has a law condoning incest, saying that if a husband dies, than the husband's brother should have sexual relations with his brother's wife, to impregnate her and carry on the line? Oh my, and poor Onan thought this was gross, and used the earliest description of the withdrawl method I know of. Oh, and he was displeasing to God, so he struck Onan down.

My goodness, and a little later, when God is telling Moses all his laws, incest of this sort is a crime ( Leviticus 18, 17)! My, my.

Oh, I'm wrong, am I? I'm taking it 'literally'? Well, isn't the Bible to complete and total word of God, and true on every account? So if I eat shellfish, I'm unclean (Leviticus 11, 10)? Houses can have leprosy ( Leviticus 14, 43)? Clothing, too? Oh, my goodness, who is it that God is talking to when he sees the Tower of Babylon (Genesis 11, 7)? I wear glasses due to myopia (nearsightedness), so I'm not allowed to go to church (Leviticus 21, 20)? Fine by me! And God condones slavery. And God has a law against going to the bathroom, if you take it literally (Leviticus 15, 2 - 15), saying that if someone has a discharge from their body, which covers everything from urination, defecation, venereal disease, vomiting, diarrhea, spitting, crying, having a running sore, or having a runny nose. And this person will be 'unclean' for having normal bodily functions. Women can have beards (Leviticus 13, 29)? Riiigght...

And hey! Wasn't Lucifer the first of God's children? And hey! Incest is condoned again, on a gross scale, starting with Adam and Eve, involving Cain having to sleep with his mother, the only available woman around, in order to propagate! And what about Noah? God killed off everyone, forcing humanity to start with a few people, requiring even more incest! So it's probable that modern humans are vastly more retarded than Adam and Eve, and also spectacularly deformed, which would mean that we're no longer in God's image! And you can't say I'm wrong, Man was made in God's mental image, because we'd be extremely retarded. And the Bible does attribute to God human physical characteristics. My oh my, do the nasty little things you like to forget pile up...

And you know, a lot of you people could try and read the whole Bible again, cover to cover, reading especially hard the parts you like to gloss over, like all the slaying, the evil, the intolerance, God's admittance to other gods...

Does it even say somewhere in the Bible that there are no other Gods? You know, if I was a new and promising God, I'd tell my followers that there are no other Gods. And lots of other things, like not to kill each other, and not to use birth control. And you know why? Advertising. If your people think that they'll be blasted with fire for using a spermicidal jelly, then you've got followers coming out the wazoo, even moreso if you tell them not to kill. If God exists, he must have great business sense.

Try and remember that Hell is only invented in the New Testament. If my cult needed a lot of new followers, A.S.A.P., then I'd be sure to scare the crap out of them with horror stories of eternal hellfire, or ice, or the Backstreet Boys, or something. Hey, with my help, you could start a great new theology! Yeah, you can have it based around the older gods like Zeus or Anubis, and demand Christian sacrifice, to atone for their sins, and...

Wait, that's not my job here, I'm trying to point out obvious stupidity, not new and fun cults you can try at home...

You know, there are quite some stupid ideas about atheism out there, too.

I'll start with the definition of atheism: The complete and utter denial of the existence of any God / Goddess whatsoever. No God, no Satan, no Jupiter, no Cthulhu, no Sephiroth, nothing. Absolutely no deities of any kind. This means that they are not Satanic. There is no way, shape, or form that they can be Satanic, as they do not believe Satan, God, Aphrodite, whoever, exist. To an atheist these beings are parts of a mythology. They are stories.

I have for you here, a link to one of the most horrifying sites I have ever visited. This webmaster has a cold and evil hatred of anything that does not conform to his ( I know it's male because he puts down women several times) beliefs. This person is in my view totally insane. How can he think democracy is Satanic? How can anyone think homosexuality is evil? This person puts me in mind of the mother from Stephen King's Carrie. You may say that Stephen King has horrifying monsters, but to me, she is the most terrifying of all King's menagerie. Slow Mutants, Blaine, Randall Flagg, Christine, Sunlight Gardener, Tak, none of these come even close to Margaret White. Although Sunlight Gardner came close. He ran a religious school that locked rebellious kids in a tiny metal box.

Not only are those pathetic writings ridiculous, they will probably shock and dismay most of even you totally loyal Bible thumpers out there who think that even another sect of Christianity is evil. This person is completely off his rocker. And sadly, you can't tell him how vicious his site is, as there is no guestbook or e-mail address. Sadly, this is the case for the vast majority of Christian-run hate sites out there. These people claim that they are God's weapons, but are not brave enough to post their e-mail. Probably because of fear that someone with half a brain could show them the holes in their argument. I warn you that this site may make you gag, and possibly fill you with an amazing amount of terror that such a sick and twisted mind could exist. So, here it is...This nasty site I informed you of...

Please, if you know this person, I beg of you on behalf of the poor atheists he jabs at, to tell him how wrong his information is! How anyone can say such horrible things is beyond my comprehension. I cannot express to you how much this page disgusts me. Christians profess to be loving, but this is pure abuse. For instance, his loathing of gay people, and his myths concerning those poor, hated souls, is completely skewed, and his little equation about how atheism leads to Satanism is, quite simply, pathetic.

I also have for you a rather interesting site that opened my eyes on many aspects of many religions. It would be very good for you to see this site, the owner has many valid points about obvious holes on the Biblical creation, and is really quite educational. It also has a link to a site that says Pokémon leads to the dark evils of Shintoism, Buddhism, and Satanism, as well as claiming that women who play Dungeons and Dragons will turn into lesbians! Well, if the players are creepy people who know every piece of D&d information inside and out....maybe it could. But I like to think that a woman won't be turned into a lesbian by one unpleasant encounter with icky men. Those people are kooks, too. Keep in mind that this person who owns this site is not of any religion, he is an atheist. The Fight for Freethought!

Now, I've opened your eyes on many matters that have been bugging me, shown you a bad site and a good site, and have been pretty damn nice to you considering how much I hate so many of you. Keep on doin' your thing, if you don't think I'm evil, and take a lookie at my Sephism page!

For the complete script and lyrics for the Rocky Horror Picture Show, go to Cosmo's Factory.

Feel free to e-mail me to complain about my blasphemy or something to the like. I enjoy theological discussions. Mostly because I can make the other person just shut up...heh...

people have seen my form of reason...

MIDI playing: Stolen Materia

(Why this? Yuffie is up to mischief at the time this is played, and, well, I'm doing something mischivous here, aren't I?)