Humor

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0 height="100%"><tr> <td valign="top" width=168 BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF" background="36ecdb13.jpg"> <div> Please, send me any religious humor, especially things that poke fun at Christians and such.....*diabolic grin*</div> </td> <td valign="top" BGCOLOR="#000000" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#99CC00" FACE="Arial" ><B>Final Fantasy Genesis</B></FONT>     <FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#CCCC66" FACE="Arial" >|   <A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Final Fantasy Genesis"><U><B>home</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <A HREF="id74.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Religion"><U>Religion</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id33.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Im not a Satanist!"><U>I'm not a Satanist!</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id78.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Why, exactly, is it evil?"><U>Why, exactly, is it evil?</U></A>   |   <A HREF="id79.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Hate Mail"><U>Hate Mail</U></A>   |   <B>Humor</B></div> <div> <IMG SRC="2bdf4010.gif" border=0 width="500" height="1" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> Humor</div> <bR> <div> And first, a joke!</div> <div> Jesus and the Apostle Peter are walking along the beach. They're discussing the various miracles Jesus performed and Jesus is decided which ones he liked the best. They exitedly talk about the transformation of water into wine, the feeding of the multitide, and the ressurection. But Jesus decides that his favorite miracle was walking on water. Seeing the convenient nearby ocean, he says to Peter that he's going to do it again. Pester looks on expectantly and Jesus walks up to a rock that's standing in the water so he can jump on. he leaps, and falls right through the water and gets a faceful of sand. Spitting it out, he says 'Allright, I've got it this time!' and tries again to jump onto the water, but fails. After several tries and much cursing, Peter looks Jesus up and down and says, "Jesus, I think you can't walk on water because the last time you did it you didn't have holes in your feet."</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="3a5f4190.gif" border=0 width="500" height="25" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div>  A Catholic priest sat in his booth, taking confessions. Things were going easily, but in time, he became paralyzed by powerful bowel cramps. Cursing last night's dinner, he runs out of the booth and desparately looks around for another priest to take confessions while he's in the bathroom. Horror of horror, no-one was around except a deacon. Calling the deacon over, the priest explains his situation and askes the deacon if he can take over the confessions. The deacon has no idea what to do, and the priest explains the various confessions and what to assign as penance. Finally, he scuttles off to the lavatory.</div> <div> The deacon begins to take the confessions. After a while, he runs into trouble. A young woman comes in and asks him what she sould do. She says that she's had oral sex with the high school football team. The deacon is baffled as to what to assign, and looks out of the booth to see if the priest has returned. The only person in sight is a choirboy, and the deacon asks him, "What does the priest give for oral sex?" The boy replies, "An ice cream cone and two packs of Pokémon cards."</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>